Thailand

My Super Resume Analysis

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My Thailand adventures are (hopefully) just around the corner. While I was filling out my resume for http://www.jobtopgun.com (one of Thailand’s biggest employment websites) I got my resume analyzed. I loved reading the results and thought I would share them with you all:

Year of Birth : 
According to your year of birth, you have very strong characteristics. With your level-headedness and tenacity, you will try your best to overcome any obstacle and accomplish the job at hand. Your good friends are persons born during the year of Rat (1984,1996,…), Snake (1977,1989,…) and Rooster (1981,1993,…).

Self :
Your music, sports and hobbies also reflect yourself. You always have modern ideas and seem to be sophisticated. You are optimistic, humble and peaceful. You are able to work individually. You are able to work in team and capable of beating an opponent. You enjoy competition. You are good at heart. You have good interpersonal skills.

Your hidden competencies are as follows :

  • Patient [A]
  • Decisive [A]
  • Flexible / Adaptable [A]
  • Enthusiastic / Self-motivated [A]
  • Initiative / Creative [A]
  • Good interpersonal skills [A]
  • Calm [B]
  • Skillful at planning [A]
  • High self-improvement [A]
  • Careful [A]
  • Principled (thinker) [A]
  • Enjoy taking challenges [A]
  • Disciplined [A]
  • Never give up [A]
  • Independent [A]
  • Love to explore [A]
  • Willing to take on new challenges [A]
  • Intelligent [A]
  • Organized / Systematic [B]
  • Get things done [B]
  • Ambitious / Achievement-oriented [B]
  • Competitive [B]
  • Winning Attitude [B]
  • Pleasant personality [B]
  • Artistic [B]
  • Skillful at applying knowledge [B]
  • Hard-working / Diligent [B]
  • Sociable / Extroverted [B]
  • Contemporary [B]
  • Detail-oriented [B]
  • Knowledgeable [B]
  • Good presentation skills [C]
  • Adventurous / Risk taker [C]
  • Visionary [C]
  • Role conscious [C]
  • Analytical [C]
  • Trouble shooter / Resourceful [C]
  • Fast learner [C]
  • Team builder [C]
  • Good sense of color [C]
  • Articulate [C]
  • Enjoy working under pressure [C]
  • Positive (thinker) / Optimistic [C]
  • Having connection / Networking [C]
  • Cooperative [C]
  • Good at heart [C]


Moreover, your strengths are as follows :

  1. Ambitious / Achievement-oriented
  2. Trustworthy / Reliable
  3. Enthusiastic / Self-motivated
  4. Pleasant personality
  5. Positive (thinker) / Optimistic

It was really interesting for me to read these results. One section of the resume entailed picking out 5 attributes to describe yourself out of a list of 50 or so. You then had to list them by level of importance. Compared to this analysis, I was shocked at how similar our results were!!! Out of all those options the computer generated answers were very close. 

I don’t really consider myself to be: patient, calm or decisive…BUT I do know I work very well under pressure. Ana, Emzie and Alfie know that from all of CFCS’s group work and endless assigments! I am also never ashamed to admit to my competitive nature 🙂

I have yet to book my flight or finalize my work plans in Thailand. Truthfully I have been struggling with MANY sleepless nights as I try to plan out my future. ALL I know is…at this point in my life–> I would prefer to book a flight to Thailand than Canada. I have considered writing a blog about: visas, work permits and employment in Thailand but I fear it could stress me out even more. Through my research I am slowly learning that visiting a country and wanting to live there TWO TOTALLY different things! It is nice that Dom and I are able to empathize with each others struggles. She is planning to move to New York City for a few months around the same time as my Thailand plans. It has been great to be able to vent with someone who is discovering the same issues. A strong support system during this difficult planning stage.

Thanks for all the positive vibes and words of encouragement from family and friends….especially to all my Thai friends who have proven to be such a strong network of women for me to bounce ideas off of!

Trying to feel blessed and see all the positives!
xox Amanda Sumalee

Journal Entry from Sept 25, 2012

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Hey Everyone!!! Over the past few weeks I have begun to sort through my things. I have dropped some clothes off in the charity bins and started to build my  package of  items I need to mail back to Canada. I came across my journal that only had 1 entry in it. I had high hopes to maintain an updated blog and journal during my travels. It looks like I was only able to do one out of the two things well. Something about reading my own writing and being able physically turn the pages is so appealing. I PLANNNN on trying again to keep a journal for my days in Thailand. Journaling is something I keep trying and failing at. For those interested in reading how my first 10 days were in New Zealand can read my journal entry below:

Tues Sept 25th, 2012 8:22pm

WOW! I have already been in New Zealand for over 1 week. After all the stress and money put into this adventure –  I am actually able to finally live it. I must take note that CC remembered how much I love Hello Kitty and bought me this adorable journal. How awesome would it be if I was able to keep a journal and a blog these next few years. I know I have tried in the past…I really like the idea of having a travel journal that I can read back down the road.

Looking back on how much time and thought I put into packing my luggage grr Groin; I really wish I had packed warmer clothes. It’s not quite summer here and I never really – well never thought about how windy it would be! I have worn long sleeves every day since I have arrived. I am SO MAD at myself for not packing more hoodies.

Before I get too far into this, I want to note just HOW GENEROUS the Whitleys were to ME. They graciously offered to move me into their home and allowed me to stay in their home. FREE of any payments. No rent! No food! No I.o.u or pay at a later date was ever expected from me. I was even allowed to have a garage sale to try and sell my stuff. There are good people in the world and this family is proof of it. They have been beyond generous to me and I can’t thank them enough for all they have done to get me to the point where I am now in my life. Just amazing! The remainder of my stuff is stored in their house so I could save of storage fees. I am beyond blessed to have them in my life. It is so exciting that they will be COMING here in 4 months!

Emzie has been so good to me since I arrived. She brought me warm clothes, and bought me warmer bedding and hot water bottle. She has tried to make me as comfortable and as warm as possible. She even brought me gloves and cut the tips off so I could text  and type! OUR FAMILIES are so different! I always call her the princesses in the castle coming to rescue the damsel in distress. Her host family treated her arrival a bit more “welcoming” and tried to ensure that she was as comfortable as possible. My family isn’t as financially secure as Em’s fam and their living accommodations aren’t as ideal. We are living in Mount Roskill, New Zealand but are trying to find a house in the North Shore for November. I am hoping it all works out smoothly as I am looking forward to moving to the North Shore. It will be closer to Emzie and out of here. Let’s just say my family does not walk around their neighbourhood at night…

Our Sumzie 2012 adventures have been exciting thus far. We drove to Piha beach which was about a 1 hour drive. We climbed Lion’s Rock and were rewarded with a gorgeous view. We tried to not let the strong winds dampen our beach experience! We’ve also walked around the viaduct and seen a little bit of Mission Bay. We strolled around downtown Auckland for post cards and hoodies but came away with nothing. We weren’t worried because we know we will be doing much more shopping in the future.

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OBSERVATIONS off the top of my head:

  • People here are super friendly
  • Food is expensive
  • Gas is expensive
  • The lanes are narrow and cars tend to park on the road making it HARDER to keep the traffic flowing
  • The water tastes different
  • My hair is wavier here
  • My skin is really dry and my nails seem to be growing faster
  • It’s a very diverse; lots of different cultures and religions that all seem to blend together well

For having only been here 10 days I feel like I have adjusted nicely. It has been hard with the time zone difference to stay connected with people. I am not allowed to use my phone at all from 7:30-4:00 (but usually closer to 5pm) during the day. Other than that I feel pretty good. The girls are both sick right now but I am hoping my immune system is strong enough not to catch their cold.  Understanding the kiwi accent can be hard at times but it’s not too difficult. I just find myself saying, “pardon” when I can’t understand – so they can repeat it to me again.

So besides being cold ALL THE TIME and the house not having heat, and the door being kept open every night I am doing pretty well. I am REALLY thankful that I have a travel buddy here with me. Great travel buddy and built in morale support.

I am so thankful I moved on from that situation and found the Kiwi family that I did. I love my family and am not shy about my love for their cat Magic 🙂 My adventures in New Zealand will be ending in a month (or so) and I will begin many new adventures in my homeland! I am sad to be leaving my Kiwi Fam Jam but am so excited for the next step!!!! Thank you to everyone who continues to support me and read Brown Eyed Girl!

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Keep smiling
xox Amanda Sumalee

Why Thailand If You Miss Your Family?

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The other day my 10 year old asked the question, “Do you miss your family?”

Instantly I answered, “Yes all the time – I love them. But I also love being here with you and living in New Zealand too.”

His eyebrows furrowed when he asked, “Then why are you going to Thailand?”
I was now confused…did he mean MY FAMILY the only family I have ever known? Or the two people who are biologically related to me; who chose to give me up for adoption?

His innocent question is what finally compelled the completion of this post. I have been meaning to post more on the topic of family for quite some time. I have so many partially typed notes that it’s time to sort through them and start posting. I am not getting any younger 🙂

He has cousins that are adopted so he has a great grasp of the concept of adoption. When I first moved in with his family; I had explained that I had lived in an orphanage in Thailand until the age around 2.5. My parents (the only 2 people I have ever seen as the definition of my parents) then adopted me. Shortly after my adoption we moved to Canada where I have lived virtually my whole life. With a little help from his Mom, I explained I have always called my parents, “Dad” and “Mom” because THEY ARE my parents. I was just a baby when I went to the orphanage and know no different. I do not believe I could be ANY CLOSER to my brothers, had they been biological or not. I grew up feeling very close to both of them and feel blessed to have such a great bond with both of them.

After clarification, I understood he wanted to know why I was travelling to Thailand if my parents and brothers lived in Canada. I had to remind him that yes my parents and brothers do live in Canada, but I am an adult and haven’t lived in the same house as my family for years. Yes OF COURSE I miss seeing my family and friends but I have wanted to go to Thailand for a long time. Just like I had traveled to New Zealand, I would continue on travelling before flying back to Canada.

Canada is where I have grown up, but Thailand is where I was born. I am a Thai-Canadian who only feels Canadian. I am not able to relate to my Thai roots. My dream has always been to live in Thailand to learn more about MY culture. My dream vision for myself would be to instantly be able to assimilate myself to all things Thai. I know that is not realistic but it’s what I want. I want to no longer feel like an outsider. I am sick of feeling like a tourist. I look the part, now I just have to feel it. I realize I am putting a LOT of pressure on myself with this upcoming trip. I am trying to lower my expectations but it is so hard when I have dreamed of this moment for so long!

Thanks for reading – Buddha Blessings,
xox Amanda Sumalee

First picture with my new haircut :)

First picture with my new haircut 🙂

I FEEL Canadian, I LOOK Thai

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This is my journey, MY LIFE. I am beyond excited but scared to death about finally going to Thailand. Wherever it takes me, and whatever I discover will be my story. Curiosity is the strongest feeling pulling me back to my place of birth.

While at the doctors I had to fill out the standard personal information form. One of the questions was ethnicity/nationality. It stumped me. I starred at it for what felt like eternity. I questioned myself as to what I should write down. I KNEW I should write down Thai, but I really wanted to put Canadian. Had someone been with me, I would have definitely written down whatever they suggested. I did not have wi-fi at the time but as soon as I got home I asked my Aunt what she thought I should have done. The same feelings were brought up again while filling out a New Zealand census form. I had to write down my nationality and place of residency….I was born in Thailand but lived my whole life in Canada. If Thai-Canadian was an option there would have been no need for hesitation.

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When the doctor looked me over she asked me where I was from? I told her Canada and she immediately gave me this look of disbelief. This cold glare like I was trying to lie to her. I could feel her looking my whole body over. I FELT obligated to tell I have lived in Canada all my life but I was born in Thailand. Why do I have to feel so defensive when stating that I am Canadian? It’s as if her glare was her warning to tell me the truth or she would not continue the exam. When I told her I lived in Canada practically my whole life she told me I had ASIAN ears, was I from the Philippines? I had to restate that I was born in Thailand but lived in Canada virtually my whole life. I know the atmosphere of a doctor’s office always comes off as intrusive but I felt beyond uncomfortable and defensive.

I have never met an adoptee who doesn’t wonder about their origins. Adoptees share a unique bond: we are consumed by our loneliness. We don’t openly talk about it but it’s apparent. My life never had a defining moment of a “big reveal” of my adoption story. My parents never had to tell me on my 18th birthday (like someone I knew), or sit me down for any big discussion. There was no need for suspicious thoughts as I was always aware I wasn’t their biological child. I was brown and EVERYONE else in my Dad and Mom’s family are Caucasian. No matter how loved you are, being adopted harvests a visceral feeling of loneliness . Every adoptee has a shared experience of rejection followed by loss. I am not saying the heavy rainstorm can’t create a magnificent rainbow…but a rainbow is impossible without the rain.

I am not wanting to delve too deeply in this conversation now because I would like to try as best as possible to put my thoughts into an array of posts. Divide my thoughts up.

These posts about my adoption are personal. I would like to make them as honest and raw as possible without breaching my own level of comfort. It is not my intention to hurt anyone’s’ feelings. I hope to be as honest as possible. Maybe sharing my thoughts on the topic can help others open up about their experiences. Reading about other peoples’ journeys has helped me to heal.  I have amassed some notes from books I have read and hope to post my thoughts on my newly acquired information in upcoming post.

Sincerely yours,
Amanda Sumalee

PLEASE comment or message me privately to share your thoughts. I would love to hear suggestions or personal stories from my readers. I have never been a member of an adoptee support group but have read about some in the United States of America. Anyone have any information on online ones? xo

Domain Name Purchased

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Today I made the big leap by purchasing the domain name: amansuma.com

Translation: typing in amansuma.wordpress.com or amansuma.com will bring you to this website. I also lifted the search engine block I had on this blog. So now if people are searching things on the web, a link to this blog could show up! Oh tres fancy!

When I purchased my plane ticket to New Zealand back in 2012, I knew I wanted to create a blog or website. I wanted a creative outlet that would help me stay connected with others, through my writing and photography. The outpouring of encouragement made me nervous. I was fearful that my motivations towards the blog would decline as time went on. I remained hopeful but apprehensive. Before I left I had promised everyone I would do my best! It feels good to have kept that promise.

Since Sept 9, 2012 I have published 45 posts and attracted over 1,170 views! That is unbelievable. I never expected so many people to take an interest in my life. The origination of this blog was to share my travel experience with those I love. Knowing that they are still invested in my life feels amazing. I started off not wanting to make the blog too personal…just in case people beside those I knew read it. I have progressively made the blog more personal. I welcome others to read my blog! I do get nervous about my privacy and sometimes need to remind myself it is no longer just people I know reading it.

I try very hard to keep my Kiwi-family has anonymous as possible. I am conscious to not post close up pictures of their face or reveal any personal information. I also try to use my friends’ nicknames whenever publishing stories about them. I want the focus of this blog to remain around my thoughts and views. My updates should become more frequent and more personal as I prepare to head off to Thailand!

I hope my constant template changing doesn’t bother everyone. I am haven’t found one yet that I have fallen in love with. I am trying to find one that looks great and is also easy to navigate around when wanting to post pictures into my blogs. I am finding some templates far easier than others. With new ones coming out monthly I am always excited for the updates. By no means do I call myself a proficient blogger but I will keep trying to hone my craft!

I want to wrap this up by thanking everyone who reads the blogs. Every time I look at the view count I smile!

Buddha Blessings
xo Amanda Sumalee

*For family and friends who love my photos, my Facebook is once again up to date!

Choosing Happiness

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I was texting my bestie the other day scrutinizing all the steps I was needing to take to be happy. Don’t get me wrong I  feel great right now: enjoying life, great weather, I am safe and have created a support system for me (here as well as maintaining those back home). These days my ultimate definition of “happy” is to be living in Thailand.  For those who know me, you know that I have always dreamed of one day moving to Thailand to live for an extended period of time. I was born in Bangkok and have since been back there twice to visit. It has always been a goal of mine to go back to my homeland to experience its rich culture. I want to feel more like a local and less like a tourist.  

I was complaining that I know I have to work to be happy but sometimes processing all the steps feels too overwhelming. Some days it just feels like I’m stuck. While I was attending school I always felt like I was waiting for school to finish so I could figure out what I wanted. Three different schools; and I kept living day to day and feeling like I was making no progress. It is obvious to me that I have been moving in the right direction. I am working towards what I want but I just WANT to be there. I wish I could just jump ahead sometimes. Bypass the middle section. Living in Victoria, I wanted to be happy and have a job working with children. Then I decided to seize the opportunity of working and travelling for a year and became an Au Pair.

I was working and waiting for months until I could finally move to New Zealand. I bought my ticket and I knew a change would happen. Now that I feel settled here I am juggling the feelings of contentment and wanting to move on. Leave a great thing to experience something new and unknown!
IMG_8738I was outlining all my concerns to Bizzle and her reply made me smile:
“I know what you mean. I hate waiting for life to happen. I think sometimes we need to take risks and take charge of our lives. “

That’s what my best friend does for me: she listens, validates my feelings, gives me support and strong words of encouragement. I just needed that boost.

IMG_6317When it doesn’t feel like I am moving forward,  I appreciate the nudges of encouragement. The reminders that I am working towards my happiness. I needed to refocus my energy and remind myself not to become too blindsided by my goals of Thailand. Yes I want to achieve my goals, but I shouldn’t discredit all the opportunities I have in New Zealand.  I know I am heading in the right direction—but I can also be happy where I am now both  physically and mentally. I just need to keep being positive and not let my anxieties sabotage me!

Life is what you make of it and I am choosing to be happy. I am in charge of how I feel and today I am choosing happiness. 

Thailand 2013!!

Buddha Blessings
xoxo Amanda

Love you bizzle xo

Love you bizzle xo

 

26 Things On My Bucket List

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This list is in no particular order. It took me a LOOONG time to fill up all 26 slots. I guess the ONLY good thing about my birthday being on Saturday is that I can stop blogging these lists! I really didn’t realize it would be take so much energy to think of 26 things to list a day. (It doesn’t help that I have to think about whether all my content is appropriate for the public! I think my answers could vary a little if it was just for my diary…)

1. Own a high quality camera

2. Anything related to flying or that feeling of pure adrenaline : skydiving, parasailing, hang-gliding, heli-skiing, base jumping, being shot out of a canon?, aerial swing. Anything that makes my stomach flip flop!!

3. Become a mother (I envision at least 2 children)

4. Find someone to share my life with

5. To live in Thailand and learn more about my heritage

6. Swim with sharks. I would like to swim with dolphins TOO but sharks is the priority

7. Be a dog owner

8. To run a marathon

9. Own a dark blue Wrangler Jeep (since Texas I can’t see myself without one. ONE DAY long down the road)

10. Have a job that I am truly passionate about

11. Be debt free (goodbye student loans!)

12. Discover more about birth parents/family members

13. Go to Fiji “the happiest place on earth”

14. Travel and see as much of the world as possible

15. Attend more live concert!

16. Go to a live filming of Chelsea Lately. (It used to be Ellen or Saturday Night Live but I have kind of moved on from that)..doesn’t really need to be on my bucket list but I am watching an episode now and she always makes me laugh.

17. When I was a kid I dreamed about living in a townhouse and having my best friend live next door to me….I think my updated dream is to live in a great place near friends. If it happens to be a sweet townhouse I am all for it! Hopefully I will be a homeowner and not a renter for the rest of my life.

18. Get more serious with my RRSP…it’s never too early to start saving for retirement!!

19. To learn Thai. I would like to feel comfortable conversing with other Thais.

20. Create a scrapbook of my life (a couple of pages of each year of my life). I was inspired after seeing my friend’s scrapbook for her daughter. She had 1-2 pages for each birthday. It was the most amazing work of art ever!!!

21. Get my ear bumps removed. Since I was a kid I wanted to get my ears pierced so I could wear dangly earrings…clip on earrings hurt!!

22. Volunteer my time more. I always feel so great before-during and after!

23. Laser eye surgery! Oh ya contacts be gone.

24. Learn sign language…I learned about Helen Keller and Louis Braille in school and am still inspired by their perseverance.

25. Take a bigger interest in learning how to cook and bake. I need to branch out from just the basics.

26. STAY connected with FAMILY and FRIENDS. It takes effort and energy but it will continue to be important to me.

Only 2 more days of blogging to go! I hope I keep my promise and blog everyday until my 27 birthday! Thanks for reading these. Bizzle I have already begun our list 🙂

Always Thankful – Keep Smiling,
xox Amanda

Survey says…

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My 26 answers:

1. First/middle name: Amanda Sumalee Dowput MacWilliam

2. Were you named after anyone? Negatory..Amanda because they liked the name Mandy, Sumalee because it’s Thai, Dowput the staff at the orphanage gave me

3. Do you like your handwriting? YES and NO..like it better than others and sometimes it’s great sometimes it’s uber ugly

4. What is your favorite lunch meat? mortadella

5. What is your most embarrassing moment? Oh gosh I have a lot…when my skirt got stuck in my underwear in Thailand after using a stand-up bathroom. During my Nepali lessons I offered my teacher some chips and grabbed them out of the bag to give to him. It was my ignorance in not realizing in their Nepalese culture to not touch the food you are offering to someone else. SHOULD have paid more attention to that chapter of my book.

6. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with yourself? Probably…I like my fun side but I don’t like all the baggage. I am pretty sarcastic but I think I would like that!

7. Are you a daredevil? when it comes to food –>usually yes, physical stuff –> Not when I am  by myself but if others are there to encourage me then yes for sure.

8. How do your release anger? Exercise, music, crafts, sleeping, crying, ranting to friends, writing

9. Where were you born? Asia somewhere…I love the people who know the hospital and time and room number and all that jazz…okay you got me I’m a wee bit jealous. Pretty sure it was in Bangkok, Thailand.

10. Do you trust others too easily? Initially I am very shy and guarded and find myself suspicious of others’ intentions.  But once I trust you –I am extremely open.

11. What was your favorite toy as a child? Barbies…or any of my brothers’ toys

12. Do you use sarcasm a lot? YES definitely—often..close to all the time?

13. What is your favorite movie? This list keeps getting bigger for me: My Life, Crash, Grease, I am Sam, Nine months…I can watch these movies OVER and OVER again. I also love all musicals.

14. Nicknames: let’s see if I can remember them all: Carly, Roomie, David, Bobby, Munday, Snoochie, amansuma, Swampert, Amandy, Lil’M, miss M, Asian, Lover, Bradley, Brad, Bandit, Bp, Brice, Suma, Sumzie, Battery, Mizzle, Brown Daughter, Sumalia, BC/Brown Cousin, P.I.C., Mandar, Brenda

15. Would you bungee jump? Done and done

16. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? No never. Waste of time!

17. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Rocky Road, Cookie Dough, Bubble Gum, Strawberry Cheese Cake, cookies & cream– I have a lot.

18. What are you listening to right now? Keys typing on a keyboard, someone showering, the dishwasher running

19. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Their height, then their body type

20. Hair Color? Black with touches of natural red

21. Do you wear contacts? Everyday of the week

22. Last Movie? Eat Pray Love (Loved Julia Roberts in it)

23.Scary Movies or Happy Endings? Happy endings. But I do love watching scary movies with people who are terrified of them (..dom that is a shout out to you lover)

24. Summer or winter? Both!-summer for weather, winter- for wardrobe

25. What is Your Favorite Dessert? Anything homemade Cheesecake! Pumpkin pie! Cupcakes!

26. What did you do today? Was up at 7am to get the children dressed and fed for school. Packed their lunches and completed the school run. Came home to work on dishes and laundry. I had a nap then began my homemade Christmas cards. Then more laundry before the school run to pick up the kids. Fed them a snack and packed more snacks before heading off to soccer. Came home and prepared supper to be ready  for 6pm. Completed dishes and bedtime routine began. Babysitting night ended around 10:30pm.
[My typical day is usually from 7am – 6ish. ]

Thanks for reading! Let me know if you have suggestions for future blogs.
Check back for another post tomorrow!

xox Amanda