Choosing Happiness

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I was texting my bestie the other day scrutinizing all the steps I was needing to take to be happy. Don’t get me wrong I  feel great right now: enjoying life, great weather, I am safe and have created a support system for me (here as well as maintaining those back home). These days my ultimate definition of “happy” is to be living in Thailand.  For those who know me, you know that I have always dreamed of one day moving to Thailand to live for an extended period of time. I was born in Bangkok and have since been back there twice to visit. It has always been a goal of mine to go back to my homeland to experience its rich culture. I want to feel more like a local and less like a tourist.  

I was complaining that I know I have to work to be happy but sometimes processing all the steps feels too overwhelming. Some days it just feels like I’m stuck. While I was attending school I always felt like I was waiting for school to finish so I could figure out what I wanted. Three different schools; and I kept living day to day and feeling like I was making no progress. It is obvious to me that I have been moving in the right direction. I am working towards what I want but I just WANT to be there. I wish I could just jump ahead sometimes. Bypass the middle section. Living in Victoria, I wanted to be happy and have a job working with children. Then I decided to seize the opportunity of working and travelling for a year and became an Au Pair.

I was working and waiting for months until I could finally move to New Zealand. I bought my ticket and I knew a change would happen. Now that I feel settled here I am juggling the feelings of contentment and wanting to move on. Leave a great thing to experience something new and unknown!
IMG_8738I was outlining all my concerns to Bizzle and her reply made me smile:
“I know what you mean. I hate waiting for life to happen. I think sometimes we need to take risks and take charge of our lives. “

That’s what my best friend does for me: she listens, validates my feelings, gives me support and strong words of encouragement. I just needed that boost.

IMG_6317When it doesn’t feel like I am moving forward,  I appreciate the nudges of encouragement. The reminders that I am working towards my happiness. I needed to refocus my energy and remind myself not to become too blindsided by my goals of Thailand. Yes I want to achieve my goals, but I shouldn’t discredit all the opportunities I have in New Zealand.  I know I am heading in the right direction—but I can also be happy where I am now both  physically and mentally. I just need to keep being positive and not let my anxieties sabotage me!

Life is what you make of it and I am choosing to be happy. I am in charge of how I feel and today I am choosing happiness. 

Thailand 2013!!

Buddha Blessings
xoxo Amanda

Love you bizzle xo

Love you bizzle xo

 

Made it to Muriwai Beach

Emzie and I finally made it to Muriwai Beach after talking about it for months!! We were waiting for a day of little wind and we finally got it. It is located on the opposite side of Piha Beach and has very little shelter from the wind. It is another black sand beach that a lot of people know about but it’s a bit of a drive from Auckland. I  heard on the radio that it was currently 24.5 degrees and it would be a high of 25! All weekend is supposed to be sunny and hot. I had the full intention of quickly grabbing some gas and then going to pick up Em. I totally forgot it was Saturday –inflated prices and higher volume of customers :(.

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After finally meeting Em we got to the beach in just under 40minutes. It was around 12:15 with a gorgeous blue sky. We slathered on sunscreen (yes Bizzle you would have been proud of me). “This is SPF 70+! You might as well be inside, you’ll get more tan through the window” -Emzie After lots of reading and water we locked our stuff in the car and got ready for our walk. We went to the top of the hill to see all the gannets on “their rock”. The smell wasn’t amazing but it was a pretty view. 

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The black sand beach actually had a lot of different things to see. After we finished walking along the top of the hill we went to take a closer look at the tide pools. The water was sooo clear! We loved looking at the cave and walking in it. It was so pretty looking at the colours and all the personal engravings. It started to get fairly crowded so we took a few quick pictures before exiting.
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The sun was hot and we decided to treat ourselves to some ice cream before the drive back. Lucky we cooled off before getting back on the highway. We were only around 11 km away from Em’s house when I noticed white smoke from my rear view mirror. Instead of blowing away its thickness picked up.

Amanda: Is it REALLY windy or am I smoking?!
Emma: …it’s you

I parked Myrtle on the side of the highway and we endured countless honks and hollers while we waited for my Kiwi-Mom to rescue us.
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I felt so badly that she had to bring the kids and drive all that way to pick us up. She did a quick check of the car and tried to see if more oil or water would help the car. Cars are not allowed to be left on the side of the highway so we were going to try and drive it to the nearest street. Unfortunately we probably only got a few metres before my Myrtle wouldn’t let me accelerate and we had to ditch any last hope of getting her home. I parked as close to the edge of the road as possible then we pushed her off to the side. We stripped her of any personal belongings and we all shuffled in our rescue vehicle feeling defeated and glum. After dinner a tow truck brought Myrtle home….for a fee. Our family is now in the market of looking for a new vehicle ASAP as I  have school runs and soccer on Monday!!!
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I am still in the process of getting caught up on my blogs. I wanted to post this today so it was still fresh in my mind. It’s nice having the boys back in school so I have my days back for myself but I’ve been feeling like the days have been slipping by. I am in the midst of researching Thailand Thailand Thailand: jobs, visas, accommodations, climate, flights just so time consuming. I have also been trying out a new healthier lifestyle; more exercise and eating healthier…less laziness! I promise I will post the missing blogs eventually. I have lots more memories and photos still to share. SO THANKFUL Myrtle chose today to stop running instead of while the girls and I were on our roadtrip. We would have been STRANDED!!!! So thankful!

Big shout out to my older brother who celebrated another birthday! Love you xo

Buddha Blessings to everyone – I will be in a land full of Buddhas this year 🙂
xox Amanda