In honor of this being my last blog (at age 26), I thought I would make a detailed list of my 26 dreams and desires. In truth, it was easy to think of about 10 and then afterwards I began regretting the topic. Dreams and miracles seem to be similar words with vastly different meanings. Without my mind going too wild I tried to base my list in mostly “reality’’. Please do not take this list too seriously or you will hurt your head.

Thank you so much to everyone who has been sending their words of encouragement. I have known all along that 27 isn’t that big a deal and I still have 3 years until I reach the big 3-0! I do not have many friends my age, most are younger and many are older so it has been great to get advice from both perspectives. The overall message being:

Age is not something you can control. It is a daily reminder that you are ALIVE!!!

26 Dreams and Desires…

1. Become a midwife’s assistant or be a Doula. When I was a kid I wanted to be an obstetrician; until I found out how many years of schooling it entailed! Then I decided I would prefer to be a Pediatrician so I could work with the Mom’s and the babies. NOW I would love to be a doula. To be a part of the support system at such a significant time in a someone’s’ life WOULD BE INCREDIBLE.

2. I have grown up to believe that you choose your FAMILY. As we grow we shape our own definitions of what it means to us.  I believe that family is not solely comprised of blood relations. That said I would like to meet (as many as possible) people from my birth family. Part of my personal identity remains undeveloped. I do worry though…did curiosity kill the cat?

3. Financial stability.

4. Feel loved unconditionally for who I am. Stop having to prove I am worthy of being loved. I don’t want to have to pretend or modify who I am depending on who I am with. I don’t want to seek out love I truly feel deserving of. I want to keep discovering who I am. I want to be me and be happy with that.

5. Find out the details involving my stomach scar. It is the width of my abdomen and I have had it since I was adopted. Just like I find it unnerving to have no birthday details, I find it unsettling to NOT know why and when I had surgery. All I know is that no organs were extracted and my stitches were cleanly done.

6. Find a cure for my insomnia. My mind just won’t shut off at night. A lot of the times when I am trying to sleep I lay awake thinking or having “daymares”. I am living through things that have never happened but it feels real.

7. Get my motorcycle license and own a bike!

8. I have always wanted to shave my head and start from scratch. When my parents found me in the orphanage I had thing scraggly hair with bald patches. To this day I have thin thin hair and I have always wondered how it would grow back? It has never seemed to be the right time to shave it off but it has always been an idea of mine. If there was an opportunity to do it for a charitable cause I would strongly consider.

9. Be in a spelling bee! Aha since I was a kid I wanted my class to have one but it never happened for me. Nothing intense like you see on television – just a simple fun one where two lines are formed and you sit down once you spell a word wrong. You advance every time you spell a word right and there is one winner! I think I am twenty years too late…

10.  I don’t know if it will happen but I would LOVE to go back to Nepal. I met so many wonderful people who will remain dear to me. I want to go back and see them as well as travel around and volunteer my time as much as possible. I will never forget the warmth of the Nepalese.

11.  Publish a book? I have always LOVED editing essays and reading over other peoples ‘work but I also like writing. My Mom was a teacher who chose to edit in red ink. To this day I love the feeling of reading over something and scribbling red ink all over the page with corrections and suggestions. Maybe one of these days I will become an author or an editor for a publishing firm?

12. Go to space? I think I am more interested in the spaceship ride than being in space but I bet the whole trip would be astounding.

13.  I know it would be impossible to make the world perfect. Who am I to decide what “perfect is”? What I do know is that I want to live in a world that has eliminated child sex offenders, rapists and world hunger they would be top on the priority list. ANYONE who mistreats children or women does not deserve my sympathy. Mental illness or not – I do not believe I would be able to forgive a person. It is depressing to know there are still people who do not have access to food daily. I hate wasting or throwing out food. One day we will abolish world hunger.

14. Hire a personal chef (thanks for reminding me Bizzle). I am a horrible cook and I have always wanted someone to grocery shop and cook all my meals. I am a huge snacker and that is part of the reason why my health is not in order. I eat whatever is quick and accessible in the kitchen or grab for the nearest potato chips or cookies. Having a personal chef would take the thinking out of what to eat and how many calories I was consuming a day! I NEED TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN one day!

15. Increased fitness. I would like to increase my stamina and lose my stomach fat (less cheese more exercising!!!) Workout with Bob Harper and/or Jillian Michaels would be a dream come true. I WANT to be on the American TV Show The Biggest Loser just so they can yell at me, “Last chance workout”. I know I would never make it on the show but a girl can dream right?!

16.  Good bye economy class hello Business Class or First Class. I love flying so why not be as comfortable as possible while doing it?

17.  I have always had this plan of what I would do if I won the lottery. If I had the option of yearly installments or cash out  the lump sum I would take the one time payout. My reason behind the lump sum is that I would be too paranoid that the cheques would stop coming. Even if cashing out meant the total was substantially less I would have the mental security in knowing I had received it and would then begin to plan my future.  If the day ever came that I won BIG I would go on 2 separate vacations. Family trip and friends trip!! For some reason I have put a lot of thought into this. I would then put more than a third into a savings account that I did not have access to for around 5 years.

18. A craft room with ample storage space that is stocked full of supplies. Anybody who crafts knows it is not a cheap hobby. It has taken me years to collect my supplies and I am nowhere near having the amount I desire. I would also like my own photo printer! Not a portable single one but a heavy duty machine! I love developing photos and giving them to people in my snail mail.

19. Learn more about different religions. I have passionately read about Buddhism but I would really like to dedicate more time to understanding the history and philosophies. I do not want to limit myself to just one and am very interested in Christianity, Hinduism and beyond. Learning more about faith and what it means to other seems inspiring.

20. I would like a Pinterest budget (merci ana!!). I would be more inclined to actually create things instead of just pinning everything to my boards and thinking that ‘someday I will make this’!

21. Un-chipable nail polish. The newest thing is getting your nails chillaxed. I would like to be able to buy it and not have to pay some technician the application fees. I would much prefer applying a type of nailpolish that didn’t need base and top coat  and loads of nail polish remover when the nails start chipping a few days later. It is a lot of work to MAINTAIN chip free nails. I wouldn’t invest so much energy into it but it helps deter me from biting my nails.

22. This is a silly dream but I wish that Private Practice wasn’t ending! I love Charlotte and Cooper as a couple. If only the show could go on or they could have their own spin off. Kadee Strickland and Paul Adelstein have dynamite chemistry and feed off each other in their roles!

23. I don’t like how soap operas are slowly becoming extinct. Besides how entertaining they are it is going to leave so many people out of work. Not just the actors, writers, directors and crew will be unemployed; all the staff who work on the shows and magazine publications.  Soaps have been on air for over seventy years and slowly fading away.

25. Another silly fantasy would be to have unlimited battery life on electronics I use regularly. It is super frustrating to have to charge my laptop, camera and phone regularly so they do not die “suddenly” on me. Not a really GOOD idea but I am running out of ideas to write about…

26. One of my favourite books is Pay It Forward. (The movie didn’t do the book justice.)It made me want the world to be a better place! I wanted to be that person who did favours for others but didn’t want anything back in world. I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD.

I kept my promise to everyone reading! I blogged for a week! Thank you so much to Ana, Bizzle and Cous Cous for their continued support over this past week. We realized just how big the number 26 was, and maybe I was too ambitious for wanting to include that many in each blog. That is behind us now because I am done 🙂

Sorry about the repetition for some of the answers.They say if you write your dreams and goals down they are more likely to come true. Here’s hoping!

Thank you thank you thank you
xox Amanda Sumalee