From the Heart

Survey says…

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My 26 answers:

1. First/middle name: Amanda Sumalee Dowput MacWilliam

2. Were you named after anyone? Negatory..Amanda because they liked the name Mandy, Sumalee because it’s Thai, Dowput the staff at the orphanage gave me

3. Do you like your handwriting? YES and NO..like it better than others and sometimes it’s great sometimes it’s uber ugly

4. What is your favorite lunch meat? mortadella

5. What is your most embarrassing moment? Oh gosh I have a lot…when my skirt got stuck in my underwear in Thailand after using a stand-up bathroom. During my Nepali lessons I offered my teacher some chips and grabbed them out of the bag to give to him. It was my ignorance in not realizing in their Nepalese culture to not touch the food you are offering to someone else. SHOULD have paid more attention to that chapter of my book.

6. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with yourself? Probably…I like my fun side but I don’t like all the baggage. I am pretty sarcastic but I think I would like that!

7. Are you a daredevil? when it comes to food –>usually yes, physical stuff –> Not when I am  by myself but if others are there to encourage me then yes for sure.

8. How do your release anger? Exercise, music, crafts, sleeping, crying, ranting to friends, writing

9. Where were you born? Asia somewhere…I love the people who know the hospital and time and room number and all that jazz…okay you got me I’m a wee bit jealous. Pretty sure it was in Bangkok, Thailand.

10. Do you trust others too easily? Initially I am very shy and guarded and find myself suspicious of others’ intentions.  But once I trust you –I am extremely open.

11. What was your favorite toy as a child? Barbies…or any of my brothers’ toys

12. Do you use sarcasm a lot? YES definitely—often..close to all the time?

13. What is your favorite movie? This list keeps getting bigger for me: My Life, Crash, Grease, I am Sam, Nine months…I can watch these movies OVER and OVER again. I also love all musicals.

14. Nicknames: let’s see if I can remember them all: Carly, Roomie, David, Bobby, Munday, Snoochie, amansuma, Swampert, Amandy, Lil’M, miss M, Asian, Lover, Bradley, Brad, Bandit, Bp, Brice, Suma, Sumzie, Battery, Mizzle, Brown Daughter, Sumalia, BC/Brown Cousin, P.I.C., Mandar, Brenda

15. Would you bungee jump? Done and done

16. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? No never. Waste of time!

17. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Rocky Road, Cookie Dough, Bubble Gum, Strawberry Cheese Cake, cookies & cream– I have a lot.

18. What are you listening to right now? Keys typing on a keyboard, someone showering, the dishwasher running

19. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Their height, then their body type

20. Hair Color? Black with touches of natural red

21. Do you wear contacts? Everyday of the week

22. Last Movie? Eat Pray Love (Loved Julia Roberts in it)

23.Scary Movies or Happy Endings? Happy endings. But I do love watching scary movies with people who are terrified of them (..dom that is a shout out to you lover)

24. Summer or winter? Both!-summer for weather, winter- for wardrobe

25. What is Your Favorite Dessert? Anything homemade Cheesecake! Pumpkin pie! Cupcakes!

26. What did you do today? Was up at 7am to get the children dressed and fed for school. Packed their lunches and completed the school run. Came home to work on dishes and laundry. I had a nap then began my homemade Christmas cards. Then more laundry before the school run to pick up the kids. Fed them a snack and packed more snacks before heading off to soccer. Came home and prepared supper to be ready  for 6pm. Completed dishes and bedtime routine began. Babysitting night ended around 10:30pm.
[My typical day is usually from 7am – 6ish. ]

Thanks for reading! Let me know if you have suggestions for future blogs.
Check back for another post tomorrow!

xox Amanda

26 Things About Me

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5 days left of being 26! That means 5 more days of lists. I hope I don’t run out of things to share with y’all 🙂

1.  I chew gum almost every day

2. As a child I found water “flavourless” but now I love drinking it

3. I am very competitive. Being the youngest of 3 kids motivated me to try HARD. I will admit to being a sore loser.

4. I have never feared death

5. I am NOT a morning person. The first thing I do in the morning is press the snooze on my alarm. I always set MORE than one alarm from daily paranoia of over sleeping.

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6. I have an ADDICTION to cheese!

7. I would rather have a girl’s night in than out. I MUCH PREFER to be makeup free and clad in comfy clothes then dressed to the nines.

8. Money has ALWAYS stressed me out and constantly on my mind. I worry about my future.

9. I would rather run than jog or walk. If I am on the treadmill I CHOOSE sprints

10. I always make a wish if it’s 11:11 and smile when I see the clock at 12:34!

11. Since around the age of 16 — I have wanted to be younger than my age. I frequently lie about my age to strangers because no one believes me when I tell them the truth. [ Last year for my 25th birthday my parents took me out for a celebratory birthday meal and the waitress asked me if I needed a kid’s menu!!!]

12. I LOVE going to sleep to the sound of a rain but especially thunderstorms

13. Since I was a child, I have always been fascinated with: pregnancy, childbirth, babies, and multiples

14. I love receiving massages. I also love the feelings I get when I am giving someone one. It is such a simple way for me to make someone else feel great.

15. I would rather be too hot than too cold

16. I wear flip flops almost every day

17. I love watching soap operas because it is my escape from reality. Daytime actors work HARD and get a really bad rap from the entertainment world L I no longer feel guilty about supporting the daytime community! xox

18. I love reading. I find myself going through a period of mourning when I finish a great book.

19. I have a big sweet tooth.

20. I feel unnerved to not have a birth certificate. My birthday is a made-up date!

21. Scared of spiders and snakes and not ashamed by my “murderous way” when need be!

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22. When I drink tea or coffee I have to wait at least 5 minutes before drinking it. I hate eating or drinking anything that is hot! [fun fact: when I first started drinking the beverages I chose to add milk  as a way to help quicken the cooling process.]

23. I don’t like talking on the phone and I find leaving voicemails very awkward.

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24.  I am PERSISTENT on: snapping pictures, video recordings and writing down funny quotes. I do this because I have a bad memory AND because I want to be able to capture and relive it later with others. I want to be able to preserve memories!

25. I love giving people nicknames. It used to be a learning tool to help remember names.  Now it’s a fun habit I can’t kick.

26. Love fuels me. I crave it. I love to be loved.
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26 Places I Have Been in the World

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I can’t believe I am turning TWENTY SEVEN in under a week! This blows my mind that I am almost thirty. In honor of my impending birthday, my next few posts will be lists with 26 bullets.

I feel so fortunate to have already traveled to so many different places in the world. It is depressing how poor my memory is and how many places I have to be reminded of having been to. I have always had a horrible memory and mixed with my lack of geography knowledge and awareness it took WAY more time than it needed to for such a short list.I know I have left A LOT of places out but here are the 26 places that I remember going to.

~*~CANADA~*~

1. Victoria (British Columbia)
2. Nanaimo (British Columbia)
3. Port Alberni (Ana’s homeland!!!) (British Columbia)

Tofino with my CFCS lovers xo

4. Tofino (British Columbia)
5. Vancouver (British Columbia)
6.  Calgary (Alberta)
7. Edmonton (Alberta)
8. Sarnia (Ontario)
9. Toronto (Ontario)
10. Ottawa (Ontario)

~*~UNITED STATES OF AMERICA~*~

11. Florida
12. New Orleans
13. New York
14. Las Vegas

Seattle’s Beerfest!

15. Seattle

~*~MEXICO~*~

16. Ixtapa
17. Mazatlan

Mazatlan, Mexico

18. Cozumel

~*~EUROPE~*~

19.  Madrid
20. Barcelona,
21. Seville                 

             

~*~AFRICA~*~

22 Morocco
23. Chad

~*~ASIA~*~

24. Nepal

Chitwan, Nepal

Bangkok, Thailand      

25. Thailand

~*~NEW ZEALAND~*~

26. Auckland

Piha, New Zealand

***Adding the pictures to this POST was BEYOND frustrating. It probably took me at least 4x the time it should have to get all the pictures added. Some were deleted in the process and the original format of this post has gone bonkers! I will try to add the pictures that got deleted sometime…WISH this format was exactly like Microsoft Publisher where you could just drag and drop your pictures in

Endless thanks xox

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Thanks to all those who have shared their kindness and motivational words. I love reading comments and receiving emails and texts. With a smile on my face I can happily announce my spirits are soaring high these days. My slump is over. It’s so comforting to realize that people are interested in my life. A dear friend of mine who I have known for years (who I think fondly of despite rarely keeping in touch) emailed me to tell me “I’m so very proud of you and the adventure you continue to be on”. I can’t express HOW heartwarming it is to receive such expressions of love from all of you!!!

Sorry for the lack of posts recently. Not a day goes by that I don’t feel guilty over my laziness. I would like to post smaller updates so I am updating more frequently– but it just hasn’t been happening lately. I THINK ABOUT my blog EVERYDAY…please note that I am always going back and editing my blogs. No matter how many times I read over my post before submission; I always find errors once it’s been posted to the site. So within a few days of the original post I  have edited at least a few times…I still comb over my early posts and correct errors!

A family member sent me this message: “I hope that you will keep up with your blog, as you have a real gift for writing”. It made me so proud of myself because I have always enjoyed writing. I try hard to keep my work  reasonably structured. I try to follow the basic rules of grammar. That said -I prefer my writing take the flow of sounding like the thoughts in my head more than literary works. I wish for my writing style to come across as natural, connecting and sharing my thoughts expressively through writing.  (I hope that made sense!!!)

Now to share my happy news with you! I am no longer residing in a hostel. My quest to find a friendly kiwi family to live with has PAID OFF! I was finally able to: take down my job postings, stop submitting electronic resumes and meeting up for interviews. What a relief. I moved to New Zealand to be an Au Pair and for a while I was wondering if I would ever find another family.  

I live in Torbay, New Zealand which is located near a handful of beaches. Less than 15 minute drives from my 3 floor house. My room is located in the basement which will stay the coolest come summer. I love the trampoline, basketball net, and PALM trees in my front yard! I feel so fortunate to have found the family I did. Such a vast difference from when I moved here almost 2 months ago. I am just so thankful I had the courage to recognize ENOUGH WAS ENOUGH and it was time to seek out a better opportunity for myself.  I have a lot of people to thank for their strength and endless support during those trying times. I’m so glad I listened to everyone and took your advice to heart. Thank you for believing in me! My homecoming started off so warmly with the Mom baking a cake for dinner the next evening.

I feel like my life is quieting down and I am settling into a comfortable routine. I mentioned in an older post that Emma and I were able to enjoy a lovely day at the beach a few weekends ago. It is exciting to know we have many more beach days ahead. I can’t wait for December and January to BE HOT AND SUNNY. Dream come true for this (not brown enough) body. The browner the better. I am seriously addicted to the sun.  

I promise you all—more blogs to come.
xox Still Smiling!
Amanda

–> Let me know if you ever have any blog suggestions or requests.
—>Feel free to send me any questions you may have 🙂

Don’t count me out –just a slump

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Thank you to everyone who continues to check the blog for updates. During our recent road trip to Rotorua and Taupo the song Brown Eyed Girl played off my ipod!! As I sang along I thought of how unmotivated I have been feeling recently. It doesn’t help that I don’t have access to free internet. OR that the library and McDonald’s internet seems to become more and more unreliable as the days go on. It really doesn’t help that I haven’t been doing much of anything during the week. My days continue to consist of: walking, reading and eating. Job posting, submissions of resumes and job interviews are pretty much over. Fingers crossed.

I’ve typed up a few blogs that I will edit and add pictures to soon… Also I plan on going back to the old layout or trying a new one out. Still haven’t found one that makes me happy yet.
Thanks for all the well wishes and words of encouragement! I love you all and appreciate it more than you could understand.
Just a small girl in a big big world.

–Bizzle I LOVE you girl stay strong and know that I am thinking about you.

xoxo Amanda

Still Smiling and SAFE

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9 days later with only one bed swap and I am smiling.  I can now laugh at myself for how terrified I was to move into a hostel by myself. The flooding of fears and anxiety were for nothing. Living in this hostel is like living in dorms. There are communal bathrooms and showers and you are always paranoid that you will forget to bring your key. You try to be as neat, and quiet so as to be as respectful as possible to your 5 to 9 other roommates. I chose the woman’s only quarters so there are only 6 beds in my room. The floors are carpeted and the bedding is clean and decently warm. I have heard from other roommates that the “Sanctuary” hall is nicer than some of the lower floors so I am glad I didn’t go with the co-ed rooms. Sounds like females get better treatment here! Woot! It was a BIG debate in my mind whether or not I should pay 3$ extra a night to have a room with a window or not. I decided the splurge would lessen my feelings of isolation. My bed used to have my head right next to the door. So I jumped at the opportunity to switch beds when one of the girls moved out. Now I am situated closer to a wall outlet and a better view of the window.

Internet is not free! My first day of moving in I was trying to seek out hotspots on my iPhone. A girl from Argentina kindly told me that the nearest places to get it free were McDonalds or the library. It wasn’t unlimited and would boot you off but at least they were nearby locations. So for the first day I tried to survive on just free internet. I found it extremely hard to be job searching, keeping in contact with friends and blogging while trying to remain connected on a free server. So by day 2 I had caved and paid for a 3 day package of internet. Not ideal to have to pay for internet while unemployed but I believe it helped me to stay sane.

I love living downtown. The hustle and bustle of the streets helps me to not feel so alone. I have been walking up and down the main roads every day. It hilly roads are becoming a great source of free exercise.

I have met lots of interesting people since moving in. I wouldn’t go as far as saying I have made many friends – but I have been involved in some great nightly discussions. ALL from my room. I do not talk to people in the lounge or kitchen. I just do not feel comfortable enough to spark up a conversation. So far from my room I have met ladies from:
2x Argentina
Thailand!!!
Malaysia
Dutch
Austria
Washington, DC
Toronto, Canada!!!
India
2x German

It’s been amazing to hear everyone’s’ first time hostel experiences. It really is comforting to know we all shared the same thoughts and fears. I told them how on my first night here I slept with my passport and wallet tucked in my purse and my purse was under the blankets at the foot of my bed with a foot firmly planted on the strap. Another girl said she slept with her purse under her pillow but it was so uncomfortable. Everyone except for 1 lady travelled here with a backpack. We have laughed over Murphy’s Law about needing the item that is at the very bottom of the pack. Or how heavy the bag is to carry but thank goodness we packed what we did. New Zealand is expensive and we are glad we brought all the necessities from home. It has been sad to say goodbye! It sounds like everyone has been having great experiences and I have been encouraging them all to post pictures and blogs so I can keep in touch!

Job hunting has had its good and bad days. I have been in contact with families and had a few interviews and even went as far as making my own post on a website. Au Pair families don’t seem to be too interested in having someone live with them this late in the year. It seems like January is a really popular time for families to want someone to move in. It’s hard trying to stay in touch with wireless and no local phone number but I am doing the best I can. A roommate and I have seriously been discussing heading South and going fruit picking for a month or so. I had never considered doing it alone –but NOW that someone else wants to do it with me my interest has peaked. I opened a bank account and am in the process of getting an IRD number. Summer positions will start to open up soon so we are just looking into accommodations and rates of pay (contract vs. daily).  It would be ideal if I could fruit pick for a few months and build my savings then come back and move in with another family. That way, Emzie and I can still travel on weekends and I’ll have some banked money for Australia — A girl can dream right?!

The other day, someone who loves me unconditionally; lovingly advised me:
“Just keep a vision of the right job/situation in your head and you will find it”
I keep reminding myself to stay positive. This isn’t what I had expected but this is life. I am living and breathing and everything happens for a reason.

Love that people are still reading the blog!
xox Amanda

If I Never Forever Endeavor

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I would like to post things that inspire me.  It could be: pictures, quotes, things people have told me — anything I think is worth sharing!

If I Never Forever Endeavor

-Holly Meade

Shortly after arriving in New Zealand I took the kids to the library for their weekly story time   The 4.5 year old and I were looking around when I came across this book. I am not sure exactly what drew me to it out of the hundreds on the shelf, but for some reason I felt compelled to read it to her. The children’s picture book felt like a sign that I had made the right decision to move and that it was all going to be okay.

 
If I Never Forever Endeavor

-Holly Meade

If in all of forever,
I never endeavor
to fly, I won’t know if I can.

I won’t know if I can’t.

I won’t know if or whether
a flight I
might fly,
should I choose
to not ever give it a try.

On the wing,

I could try
and find
and I flap
and I flail,

flounder and plummet,
look foolish
and fail.

On the other wing,

I could try
and take flight,

rise high and
float free,
sail through the trees.

If I did endeavor, and found my wings clever,

I could see the world!

Or get lost in it.

My nest is so nice,

the nicest of nests.
Who needs to fly – ever?

I think I’ll forget
all about this “endeavor.”

But, look there…

if I don’t fly,
I won’t know
what it is
to swoop low
or soar high,

or what it’s like to

pluck a sweet bug
from the sky.

I won’t know how it feels to

scallop the air
with a dip
and a glide.

Or float alongside a friend.

I suppose
I could try
a little flap,

a flutter…
or two!

FLY!

Look at me!
I’m dipping and gliding
and daring and…

If I hadn’t endeavored

and found my wings clever,
I never a sky
would have scaled,
never a world
would have seen,

And never a friend would have found.

Friends of a feather,

I say, endeavor and

fly!

I believe that I was meant to read that book and I am so glad I have chosen to live my life and “fly”!

Smiling,
xo Amanda

Confession time

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I have had a lot of people ask me, “How’s New Zealand?” Followed by, “Are you enjoying your family?” I realize that everyone is assuming that the two situations go hand in hand and are hoping that I am having a positive experience for both.

TRUTH TIME in most cases I have purposely been evading the latter question. Along with that, I had only been posting on the weekends. The reason was because I really had nothing to share about my weekdays. Weekends were my time away from the house. Emzie drove over to the house to grab me and we do something fun together…well actually anything we do together is usually fun. I mean that weekends or Friday night were the only time that I actually got to see New Zealand or do any sightseeing. I would actually start to feel like a tourist and start enjoying myself. Why does Em get me out of the house instead of me just leaving the house? Her family has 2 cars, and mine has 1 car that they don’t like to use. My area of town was not as “nice” and there aren’t many restaurants or places to walk around and see. So my darling Emzie was always scooping me up and taking me out to see the rest of the world.

I had always planned on not sharing too much about my Au Pair family. For respect to their privacy and to keep this blog more about my experiences – not about my time with the family. As time went on, the saying If you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all kept swimming around in the back of my mind. What I can now say to everyone is that >> I am no longer living with the family as our expectations did not match. My definition of “good kids” and that of the mother’s were completely different. I ALSO really hate being cold and the house had no heat and the provided bedding was nowhere near substantial. The family kept the backdoor open every night so their dogs could go in and out at night which kept the house cold during the days and nights. Em actually brought me: gloves, slippers, a blanket, pillow and hot water bottle because she was shocked by the temperature of my bedroom and rest of the house. The walls were thin, from my bedroom I could hear what was happening in any part of the house at all times of the day. Besides the temperature and noise there were just a lot of issues I was being faced with that I believed to be unreasonable and I began to hate my life. The job hours and expectations were not syncing up with what had been outlined to me. It’s unfortunate that through all the correspondence of emails and skyping I got described a reality that was far different from the actuality of the household.

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So I would like to share with all of you — I still love travelling and I have been enjoying the positive experiences. I did NOT like my family and I am currently seeking another family to live with.

Good bye Mt. Roskill hello Dannemora….
or so I thought. That’s the next post 🙂

I see more people checking out the blog! Thanks for stopping by and reading. Makes me smile to know people are interested in my thoughts.
Still Smiling –Always,
xoxo Amanda Sumalee

Being Blessed is Exhausting…

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After 7 months of trying to decide where my future would take me –I have FINALLY arrived in New Zealand. I can and CAN’T believe I actually moved away from Canada. After all the stressful nights and mini melt-downs, I can lay back and breathe DEEPLY. Anxiety attacks did NOT hold me back and I thank all who showed me how strong their love for me really is! Telling people you are moving away REALLY let’s you know who truly does love you!!

Thank you so much to my parents, Dom and CC for my amazing sendoff! Around at the airport with plenty of time to get my: Timmy Ho fix, shared some poutine and got to indulge in a bathroom photo session! Even had enough time to look at all the magazine covers and hum and haw over throwing my money away. (For those curious; I resisted the urge and spent no money on a gossip mag).

The plane ride was pretty uneventful. I did score a window seat with nobody sitting directly beside me. The passenger sitting in the aisle seat next to the vacant seat was just as excited as I was that no one would be sandwiched in between us. It made my travelling experience that much better! I have yet to dislike flying. Take off was 30mins late – yet we still managed to land in Auckland 30 minutes ahead of schedule. When I landed it was pitch black out and raining. The whole team at Air New Zealand Flight 83 was magnificent!! Super friendly and professional the whole flight. The plane landed around 4:35am and I was able to get through: security, baggage claim and bio hazard screening and a bathroom break all before 5:40am 🙂

Those in my host family are so gracious and warm. I already feel a strong connection and know it will be hard to leave come May. It did not take long for both girls to feel comfortable around me. They LOVED their little tutus. The fit was amazing and I can’t wait to post a picture of them wearing them. When I left a few times to go to my room to try to unpack the little 4 year old would ask her parent, “Where is Amanda?” “Why is Amanda not here?” So many memories already shared today….maybe I should buy stocks in Kleenex now?!!

During the rainy ride home, I was second guessing myself for not packing more pants and hoodies. AS A HUGE hoodie lover I was questioning why I had boxed and left so many in storage? By the afternoon the sun was out and the warmth was felt through the kitchen and living room windows. A smiled set in and I realized I had made the right decision. I packed enough clothes and no matter what I packed I was going to have an amazing experience.

I have already indulged in homemade peanut butter cookies, homemade pizza (mine was vegetarian and beyond delish), and an amazing lentil and avocado salad. Tomorrow I get to munch on homemade carrot cake!!! Thank baby Buddha they have a treadmill 🙂

It’s 2:45am (BC time) and only 9:45pm (NZ time)and having not had a nap makes me EXHAUSTED!!!
xox Amanda